Goody Two-Shoes
By Anonymous
Chap. V.
How Little Two-Shoes became a trotting Tutoress
and how she taught her young Pupils.
It was about seven o’Clock in the Morning when we set out on this
important Business, and the first House we came to was Farmer
Wilson’s. See here it is.
Here Margery stopped, and ran up to the Door, Tap, tap, tap. Who’s there? Only little goody Two-Shoes, answered Margery, come to teach Billy. Oh Little Goody, says Mrs. Wilson, with Pleasure in her Face, I am glad to see you, Billy wants you sadly, for he has learned all his Lesson. Then out came the little Boy. How do doody Two-Shoes, says he, not able to speak plain. Yet this little Boy had learned all his Letters; for she threw down this Alphabet mixed together thus:
b d f h k m o q s u w y z [f]
a c e g i l n p r t v x j
and he picked them up, called them by their right Names, and put them all in order thus:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o
p q r (s) s t u v w x y z.
[Post-processor’s note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminating letter “s”.]
She then threw down the Alphabet of Capital Letters in the Manner you here see them.
B D F H K M O Q S U W Y Z
A C E G I L N P R T V X J.
and he picked them all up, and having told their Names, placed them thus:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
Now, pray little Reader, take this Bodkin, and see if you can point out the Letters from these mixed Alphabets, and tell how they should be placed as well as little Boy Billy.
The next Place we came to was Farmer Simpson’s, and here it is.
Bow wow, wow, says the Dog at the Door. Sirrah, says his Mistress, what do you bark at Little Two-Shoes. Come in Madge; here, Sally wants you sadly, she has learned all her Lesson. Then out came the little one: So Madge! say she; so Sally! answered the other, have you learned your Lesson? Yes, that’s what I have, replied the little one in the Country Manner; and immediately taking the Letters she set up these Syllables:
ba be bi bo bu, ca ce ci co cu
da de di do du, fa fe fi so fu.
and gave them their exact Sounds as she composed them; after which she set up the following;
ac ec ic oc uc, ad ed id od ud
af ef if of uf, ag eg ig og ug.
And pronounced them likewise. She then sung the Cuzz’s Chorus (which may be found in the Little Pretty Play Thing, published by Mr. NEWBERY) and to the same Tune to which it is there set.
After this, Little Two-Shoes taught her to spell Words of one Syllable, and she soon set up Pear, Plumb. Top, Ball, Pin, Puss, Dog, Hog, Fawn, Buck, Doe, Lamb, Sheep, Ram, Cow, Bull, Cock, Hen, and many more.
The next Place we came to was Gaffer Cook’s Cottage; there you see it before you.
Here a number of poor Children were met to learn; who all came round Little Margery at once; and, having pulled out her Letters, she asked the little Boy next her, what he had for Dinner? Who answered, Bread. (the poor Children in many Places live very hard) Well then, says she, set the first Letter. He put up the Letter B, to which the next added r, and the next e, the next a, the next d, and it stood thus, Bread.
And what had you Polly Comb for your Dinner? Apple-pyeanswered the little Girl: Upon which the next in Turn set up a great A, the two next a p each, and so on till the two Words Apple and Pye were united and stood thus, Apple-pye.
The next had Potatoes, the next Beef and Turnip which were spelt with many others, till the Game of Spelling was finished. She then set them another Task, and we proceeded.
The next Place we came to was Farmer Thompson’s, where there were a great many little ones waiting for her.
So little Mrs. Goody Two-Shoes, says one of them, where have you been so long? I have been teaching, says she, longer than I intended, and am afraid I am come too soon for you now. No, but indeed you are not, replied the other; for I have got my Lesson, and so has Sally Dawson, and so has Harry Wilson, and so we have all; and they capered about as if they were overjoyed to see her. Why then, says she, you are all very good, and GOD Almighty will love you; so let us begin our Lessons. They all huddled round her, and though at the other Place they were employed about Words and Syllables, here we had People of much greater Understanding who dealt only in Sentences.
The Letters being brought upon the Table, one of the little ones set up the following Sentence.
The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may be always good, and say my Prayers, and love the Lord my God with all my Heart, with all my Soul, and with all my Strength; and honour the King, and all good Men in Authority under him. Then the next took the Letters, and composed this Sentence.
Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may love my Neighbour as myself, and do unto all Men as I would have them do unto me, and tell no Lies; but be honest and just in all my Dealings. The third composed the following Sentence.
The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may honour my Father and Mother, and love my Brothers and Sisters, Relations and Friends, and all my Playmates, and every Body, and endeavour to make them happy. The fourth composed the following.
I pray GOD to bless this whole Company, and all our Friends, and all our Enemies. To this last Polly Sullen objected, and said, truly, she did not know why she should pray for her Enemies? Not pray for your Enemies, says Little Margery; yes, you must, you are no Christian, if you don’t forgive your Enemies, and do Good for Evil. Polly still pouted; upon which Little Margery said, though she was poor, and obliged to lie in a Barn, she would not keep Company with such a naughty, proud, perverse Girl as Polly; and was going away; however the Difference was made up, and she set them to compose the following
Lessons
For the CONDUCT of LIFE.
LESSON I.
He that will thrive, Must rise by Five. He that hath thriv’n, May lie till Seven. Truth may be blam’d, But cannot be sham’d. Tell me with whom you go; And I’ll tell what you do. A Friend in your Need, Is a Friend indeed. They ne’er can be wise, Who good Counsel despise.
Lesson II.
A wise Head makes a close Mouth. Don’t burn your Lips with another Man’s Broth. Wit is Folly, unless a wise Man hath the keeping of it. Use soft Words and hard Arguments. Honey catches more Flies than Vinegar. To forget a Wrong is the best Revenge. Patience is a Plaister for all Sores. Where Pride goes, Shame will follow. When Vice enters the Room, Vengeance is near the Door. Industry is Fortune’s right Hand, and Frugality her left. Make much of Three-pence, or you ne’er will be worth a Groat.
Lesson III.
A Lie stands upon one Leg, but Truth upon two. When a Man talks much, believe but half what he says. Fair Words butter no Parsnips. Bad Company poisons the Mind. A covetous Man is never satisfied. Abundance, like Want, ruins many. Contentment is the best Fortune. A contented Mind is a continual Feast.
A LESSON in Religion.
Love GOD, for he is good.
Fear GOD, for he is just.
Pray to GOD, for all good Things come from him.
Praise GOD, for great is his Mercy towards us, and wonderful
are all his Works.
Those who strive to be good, have GOD on their Side.
Those who have GOD for their Friend, shall want nothing.
Confess your Sins to GOD, and if you repent he will forgive you.
Remember that all you do, is done in the Presence of GOD.
The Time will come, my Friends, when we must give
Account to GOD, how we on Earth did live.
A Moral LESSON.
A good Boy will make a good Man.
Honour your Parents, and the World will honour you.
Love your Friends, and your Friends will love you.
He that swims in Sin, will sink in Sorrow.
Learn to live, as you would wish to die.
As you expect all Men should deal by you:
So deal by them, and give each Man his Due.
As we were returning Home, we saw a Gentleman, who was very ill, sitting under a shady Tree at the Corner of his Rookery. Though ill, he began to joke with Little Margery, and said, laughingly, so, Goody Two-Shoes, they tell me you are a cunning little Baggage; pray, can you tell me what I shall do to get well? Yes, Sir, says she, go to Bed when your Rooks do. You see they are going to Rest already:
Do you so likewise, and get up with them in the morning; earn, as they do, every Day what you eat, and eat and drink no more than you earn; and you’ll get Health and keep it. What should induce the Rooks to frequent Gentlemens Houses only, but to tell them how to lead a prudent Life? They never build over Cottages or Farm-houses, because they see, that these People know how to live without their Admonition.
Thus Health and Wit you may improve, Taught by the Tenants of the Grove. The Gentleman laughing gave Margery Sixpence; and told her she was a sensible Hussey.
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